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Trustee Misconduct & abuse of power over her adult dependant son
Sara Wilson (Calgary )
First I apologize for the length but I want to try and give as much information as I can, as my husband and I are in desperate need of help and advice before be both have a mental breakdownā¦
I am asking on behalf of my common in law husband who has a traumatic brain injury but is considered high functioning, he has had his drivers license reinstated since 2012, he is capable of living on his own but does have some cognitive hindranceās but he knows when to ask for help..
Anyway his mom is his guardian & trustee, his sister is his alternate, in 2013 he won a million dollar lawsuit from the accident he sustained his injuriesā¦ up until spring of 2023 he was never given access to see his financialās, over the years since he won the lawsuit he has constantly been denied money when he would ask for extra money over the $400-$500 he would be given a month, that money they gave him was to go towards food, fuel, personal care items, entertainment etc When he finally was given access to his accounts and we looked back over the years we came across many transactions of his sister using his funds to make personal purchases from $800 grocery shops to going to Edmonton and going on a shopping spreeā¦
They constantly try to manipulate him, gaslight him and they gave him believing they donāt need to discuss any decisions they make with him and that itās none of his concernā¦ When we moved in 2020 to our current home, he really wanted power reclining furniture due to the arthritis in his back & neck from the accident and again he was told no they are to much money and not justified yet his mom forced us to get new floors we never wanted that costed $20,000 all because she didnāt like the way the floors looked that were in the houseā¦ please make that make sense someone š¤¦š»āāļø Besides the lawsuit money which is now completely gone and we have no clue where it all went because we could only go back to June 2016 in his accounts my husband does get disability each month totalling $3000ā¦
My question now that I have given you 5% of the story is: Are his trustees aloud to use his money for their personal use like they have?? What rights does my husband have as he has been led to believe he doesnāt have rights??
We have been together for 15 years, there is so much confusion on both our parts from all the lies, manipulation and gaslighting we have both enduredā¦ His mom constantly tries to scramble his head up in hopes of causing a rift between him and I so we break up again, back in 2011 I had to end our relationship due to his mothers overwhelming control and involvement in our relationship, I had small children which I had to put firstā¦ our split was for 20 months and we have been together for 10 years ā¦ Now that his dad had stage 4 lung cancer she is pressuring my husband to move in with us so my husband can look after her yet she is perfectly healthy once his dad passes away, yet my husband wants NOTHING to do with herā¦ She is morbidly obsessed with her son, itās like he is a surrogate spouse or something, itās just sketchyā¦ I know her marriage hasnāt been a happy one, which may explain why she constantly tries to destroy our relationshipā¦
He wants to sell the house and move before he loses his mind and she said she will never approve the sale of our house ever, that we will be staying where we areā¦ He asked to sell and downsize to a mobile home as a 2000 sq ft home is to big for 2 disabled people, again she absolutely not as we wouldnāt be happy in a mobile home plus there wonāt be room for me, and again my husband said your not moving in, she said I am your guardian and trustee it says on the order I determine whom you live with and whom you associate with, I would be compliant or else I will have your wife removed from your home and your life permanentlyā¦ She has threatened me numerous times to have me removed from his life, and she says because him and I had credit cards we both used at one time years ago she had to pay off which was because of me losing work, the cards werenāt even $5000 between them all but she holds it over my head all the timeā¦
This woman calls our house at 10 oāclock at night stating to him I just need to hear your voice, itās disturbingā¦ His last guardian and trustee review was in 2014 yet he was never told about it, his capacity changes have not been reported, he has been asking for a capacity assessment for years but is also denied that and her reasons have ranged from it will cost $10,000 to have it done to if he gets an assessment he will lose his monthly disability payments, the man still canāt work due to physical issues with his back and neckā¦ We have arrangements for my husband to get a capacity assessment at the end of this month once he has completed his occupational therapy appointments which is this coming week, she is trying to tell him he needs her permission to do the assessment, is that true???
I think yāall got the jist of things, there is alot more I mean ALOT, any and all advice I could get right now would be greatly appreciated, I am watching my husband slowly become more and more depressed, introverted, angry and frustrated because he wants his mother and sister out of his life and he wAnts to know what happened to all his money, as there is literally nothing left besides a investment that she tried telling us was all his money only to come and find out that $12,000 was his money the other $88,000 came from the government because she lied to the government about his net worth and monthly income to make him appear to be low income yet we own a $300,000 house, 2 vehicles plus personal propertyā¦ if you made it this far thank you for taking the time to read my rambling, hoping someone can help usā¦
03 months ago
Dawn Nelson - Dawn L. Nelson, Barrister & Solicitor (Edmonton) Verified Lawyer
I am sorry to hear you are going through such an awful experience. Although this will be of little comfort, you are certainly not alone. In fact, this behaviour is so common that the government has a complaints officer and systems in place to investigate these situations. You can find. more information here: https://www.alberta.ca/complaints-about-decision-makers You may also want to contact a lawyer to discuss your particular case in more detail in a private and confidential setting.
03 months ago
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