Ask a Lawyer is a public chat forum, where you can ask lawyers for very general information. Because it is public, your questions, comments, and responses are not confidential. Please contact a lawyer in our Directory directly if you need a private opinion about your specific circumstances.
I have been divorced since 2019. Our divorce agreement had a 3,4,4,3 custody arrangement. After about a year, it switched by verbal agreement to a straightforward 4,3 split. My son is 14 now and starting grade 9 in September. He and I would both like it if he could be here 5 nights, and his dad's place 2 nights. I'm just wondering if my son's age makes it more reasonable that he can ask to make the change. I also would appreciate advice on broaching the topic to my ex who can be volatile.
Dawn Nelson - Dawn L. Nelson, Barrister & Solicitor (Edmonton) Verified Lawyer
On a very high level, my generalized response is that it is an absolute myth that when a child reaches the age of 12 or 14 that they get to decide where they want to live. There is no magic number; they cannot legally make their own decisions until age 18. However, there are often life circumstances at this age and stage of development that may warrant changing things up a bit. Peer relationships become more important, if the child plays sports, practice and game schedules become more demanding, that sort of thing. Each case is unique, as each child is unique. I recommend you speak to a lawyer in a private and confidential forum to obtain legal advice tailored for your situation.
If you have not taken the Parenting After Separation course in the last couple of years, you may want to consider taking it again. It is free and online and there is no limit on how many times you go through the materials. If you are thinking of going to court to change parenting, your PAS certificate of completion needs to be less than two years old. If the other parent is volatile and there is some fear around having a very valid parenting conversation, you may want to take the companion course for High Conflict situations (PAS-HC) which is also free and online.
There are also a number of free mediation services and other resources offered by the Alberta Government and Court Services to address these kinds of situations without having to take anything back to court: https://familyresolution.alberta.ca/getting-started
23 months ago
Robyn Smith (Edmonton)
Thank you.
03 months ago
You must log in or sign up to reply to conversations.
DISCLAIMER: The information herein is not legal, tax, or accounting advice or opinions.
This website contains content and files submitted by third parties, to which you download or view at your own risk.
The Alberta Legal Coaches and Limited Services Society is merely a directory, it is not responsible for the actions or omissions of the lawyers listed in its directory.
By using this website, you agree to release the Alberta Legal Coaches and Limited Services Society, its agents, employees, and directors from all present and future claims and liability, including liability arising from any negligence.
